that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
