I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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