Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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