fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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