We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
