the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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