Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
These tits shall not be calmed
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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