I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
