Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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