she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
