I hope mine doesn't look like that
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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