Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
