The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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