can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
