My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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