Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
