Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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