I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i think i just lost a toe
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize