We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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