I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
