we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
