Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
