Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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