I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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