Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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