You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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