after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
