after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
