$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
