I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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