I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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