Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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