Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
