remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize