Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
