new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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