That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You're completely useless in the revolution.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize