So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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