For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
