He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you inspire me to be a worse person
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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