dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
