quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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