I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
