Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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