I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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