i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize