Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
