There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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