So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's never too late to be topless.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
