you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
