Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize