And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
