Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
