I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
