My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
