I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
