Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
