As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize