i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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