Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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