Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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