I'll bet she douches with gravy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
